We decorated our living room with photos for my 50th

I turned 50 in April and it felt like a good opportunity to slow down and reflect. I’m lucky to have had a busy start to this year, and with everything going on in the world at the moment, it’s easy to get swept up and miss these important milestones.

I decided to throw a party to celebrate with my closest family and friends. To be honest I was a little bit hesitant, as I’ve been a bit under the weather recently, and it can be all too easy to listen to the inner critic that says ‘I’m not worth it’ and not celebrate ourselves... But the party went ahead and we had a fantastic turn out, with great people, food, drinks, live music and dancing. Bringing people together is always a good idea, whatever the reason, and I was so glad I did it.

Turning 50 feels like a bigger deal than I was expecting: a bit like crossing the threshold of the first part of my life as I now embark on the second. As I get older, I’m more and more conscious of how I spend my time – things like purpose and meaning become higher priorities, while things like chasing status and income matter to me less.

I hope to lead a fulfilled, contented life where I find myself thriving, rather than just keeping my head down and surviving. I realise that this is a luxury, given the situation of many people in the world today, but want to share what’s worked and what’s working for me in the hope that others might feel inspired to do the same. I believe, and have always done, that the way through difficult times is by sharing our knowledge and experiences and working together to find solutions.

That’s why in this blog, I share a few reflections on work, life and love as I turn 50. They were written with younger people in mind, but I hope they offer contemplation and inspiration to people of all ages. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m grateful for my work

Like all work, being a Chartered Surveyor can be repetitive at times, but I mostly spend my days doing something that really helps people. I was recently asked to carry out a survey for an elderly couple who were considering buying a flat which needed a refurb. It all seemed fairly straightforward, until they casually asked if I’d like to look at ‘the gap under the floorboards’. Alarm bells started ringing and rightly so: this gap turned out to be a damp, gaping cave which would have cost this couple an arm and a leg to sort out. They didn’t end up buying the flat, and I like to think I helped them from losing a financial limb at a time of life when they’re perhaps a bit more vulnerable.

I value community

I was recently invited by a member of my BNI Networking Group, Ashley Jordan, to present my talk on energy efficiency at Café Connections’ monthly drop-in clinic in Balham – a social support group for older people and their families. I loved being able to answer peoples’ questions and point them in the right direction: doing voluntary stuff like this breaks up the nuts and bolts of surveying work and reminds me why I do what I do in the first place – to help keep real people safe in their homes.

I hope to stay curious

In our fast-moving and increasingly digital age, it’s easy to run on autopilot and miss the small things that really matter. Over the years, I’ve learnt that curiosity is a vital part of emotional maturity in work, life and love – adding creativity, vitality and resilience to change, something that we’re all responding to at the moment. Being curious is far more preferable than getting stuck and struggling in resistance, which can be disempowering and even crippling at times. So I’ve learnt to pay attention to things and become curious about myself, my work, my family, friends and the world around me – and it’s led to more opportunities, better relationships and an overall happier life.

I want to use my time well

If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that we never know how much time we’ve got left. My wife Kathy is slightly older than me, and I know that I need to consciously make time to spend with her and our daughter Jemima over the coming years: time to have fun, to take trips away, to have meals together and play – or suddenly, we might find that life is passing us by and we never got round to doing those things we always wanted. Looking after our health and well-being is an important part of this, and I love practising hot yoga, conscious dance and cycling to keep my body strong and supple and my mental health in balance.

I’m committed to ongoing development

It’s never too late to try something new. I was in my forties when I decided to change career and re-train as a surveyor, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve invested lots in personal and professional development over the years, and as I enter my 50s I’m now seeing the results of all that work: I feel happier, more balanced and more content. Like everyone, I’ve been dealt my fair share of struggle and even tragedy in life, but feel I’m now coming through the difficult times and reaching a ‘pot of gold at the end of the rainbow’ moment. To anyone younger reading this, I’d say patience pays and don’t be afraid to invest in yourself and take a new, unchartered path. Life is an adventure to be lived!

With all this in mind, I’ve now got two questions for you:

Firstly, I’d love to hear how you have experienced transitional moments in work, life and love, whether that be births and deaths, big birthdays and anniversaries, or things like changing jobs or moving house. What helped you during those times? What didn’t? What piece of advice do you have to share with others? Feel free to comment on my LinkedIn post and let’s see if we can start an interesting thread.

Secondly, I’d love to hear how RM Surveyors can best support the south London community going forward. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been busy writing guides to different local areas, and upon request, have started publishing blogs on more technical aspects of surveying such as asbestos, energy efficiency and shared ownership. Please feel free to drop me an email or message me on LinkedIn and let me know any future topics you’d like covered.

Thanks for reading, thanks for being here and here’s to the next 50 – at least!

Warm wishes,

Roo x

Some reflections on work, life and love as I turn 50